Help the Sluts of Sutton Drive Conquer the UK!

We here at the Youngblog love sluts. Specifically, The Sluts of Sutton Drive by Youngblood Alum Joshua Conkel. We've loved Sluts since Josh first brought the script into a Youngblood meeting, since it rocked Bloodworks, and since it brought down the house at Unfiltered. Now, Sluts is going international: this "dark dark dark dark dark dark [etc]" comedy will premiere this summer at the Finborough Theatre in London. But before they can get across the border, they need your help raising a little scratch. Watch the video below to find out why you should donate (I mean, I think I just told you why you should donate, aka because it's an awesome play, but watch the video also), then click to kick in a few pounds.

Do it.

Shut Up, David Mamet*

Shut up, David Mamet. STFU. Be quiet. No, seriously, shut the fuck up, David Mamet. * You don't know what you're talking about when you say things like:

On Phil Spector:

"I don't think he's guilty... They should never have sent him away. Whether he did it or not, we'll never know but if he'd just been a regular citizen, they never would have indicted him."

Oh, really? Phil Spector wore a fright wig and kept Ronnie Spector prisoner. That's not something regular citizens get the chance to do.

On unions:

"I realized I had been screwed by unions as much as I'd been helped by them."

So much for minimum wage and five day work weeks.

On Sarah Palin:

"I am crazy about her. Would she make a good candidate for president? I don't know but she seems to have succeeded at everything she put her hand to."

Like shooting wolves from a helicopter. I can't even.

Read the whole thing if you want your brain to die a painful death. Ugh. Everything is the worst.


*The opinions expressed in this post are Conkel's only, and not necessarily the opinions of Youngblood as a collective.

I Wanna Destroy You

There's a reading of my new old play on Tuesday, June 14th. I say new old play, because I wrote it rather quickly a few years ago for my very first Bloodworks reading.

And it kind of sucked.

Sure, the idea was great. I wanted to write a play about the trope of the gay sidekick- something I hate with a burning passion. Why is it we only get to be around so long as we're decorating an apartment or saying something sassy or doling out sex advice to straight girls? I suppose it is better than it was. When I was a kid people only wanted to see representations of gay men who were dying. In that respect, I suppose Stanford from Sex and the City is a step forward. Still, when I hear Kathy Griffin or whoever talking about "their gays" it makes me want to go to sleep forever.

So I wanted to write a comedy about a gay man surrounded by glamorous women who is struggling to be the star of his own life. And... I kind of failed. I wrote it really quickly and couldn't really handle all the themes that were jumping out.

That said, I recently dug the play out and completely gutted it and reworked it. And you know what? I really like it. I think it's funny and sweet and less angry than a lot of my other work. It actually turned out to be a sort of romantic comedy, which surprised the hell out of me. It wants to be an adorable little indie film starring, like, Joseph Gordon-Levitt or some shit. So if you don't like my play The Sluts of Sutton Drive or MilkMilkLemonade, maybe you will like this one.

Here's the other thing. This is my last Youngblood event ever. So you should come celebrate with me. If there's one thing I've learned from I Wanna Destroy You, it's this: I'm a better writer at 30 than I was at 27. And it's all because of Youngblood. And that is something to celebrate.

I Wanna Destroy You
by Joshua Conkel

A staged reading at Ensemble Studio Theatre.
549 W 52nd St., Second Floor

Tuesday, June 14th
8:30 pm

Free!

Plugging Myself.

Zack Calhoon interviews yours truly about theater, Youngblood, the new Crystal Skillman play I'm producing and blogging over at Visible Soul.

Check it out!

"Lonesome Winter" Opens December 2nd

The Management and Horse Trade Theater Group

Present

Lonesome Winter

A Christmas comedy for the suicide set!

Written by Joshua Conkel and Megan Hill

Directed by Meg Sturiano

Winter Lipschitz is lonesome. She has no friends, an addiction to the Shop at Home Network has run amok, her nipple hair is out of control, and on top of everything else, her cat Sparkles hates her guts. After a failed suicide attempt, Winter is visited by life coach Debbie Metzger-Bolger. Will Debbie give Winter the tools she needs to get her life back on track? Or are the Pearly Gates the only thing in store for poor old Winter?

Featuring Nicole Beerman*, Megan Hill*, Kirsten Hopkins*, Nick Lewis, and Joshua Conkel

December 2-19^th@ UNDER St. Marks
Thursdays-Saturdays at 8, Sundays at 2
Tickets Available at www.smarttix.com

*Member’s of Actor’s Equity. Equity Approved Showcase.

MilkMilkLemonade Opens THIS WEEK.

Presents

MilkMilkLemonade

By Joshua Conkel

Voted Best Off-Off-Broadway Show 2009
“An angry, bitter and very funny play about growing up gay in middle America.” “Theatrical gold.”
-New York Press

October 28th - November 13th

Thu - Fri at 8pm, Sat at 2pm & 8pm

BUY TICKETS HERE

THIS SHOW CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT. CHILDREN UNDER 16 WILL NOT BE ADMITTED TO THE THEATER.

Astoria Performing Arts Center

Venue: The Good Shepherd United Methodist Church

30-44 Crescent St (@30th Rd)
Astoria, NY 11102

Directions: Take the N/Q to 30th Avenue. Walk down 30th Ave, past Mt. Sinai Hospital of Queens. Turn left on Crescent Street, then right on 30th Rd. The entrance is the second set of red doors on your left. Street parking only.

---------------------------------------------

MilkMilkLemonade by Joshua Conkel

Emory is an effeminate 11-year-old boy who lives on a farm with his chain smoking Nanna and his only friend, a depressed chicken about to be processed. Nanna wishes Emory would get his head out of the clouds, stop choreographing ribbon stick dance numbers, and be more like Elliot, the boy down the road with a penchant for burning things. But Emory and Elliot have a relationship — just not one Nanna would expect or approve of. With absurd, poignant dialog and brutal characterizations, MilkMilkLemonade is a bitterly funny exploration of gender, sexuality, life, death and the human body.

BUY TICKETS HERE

Starring

Andy Phelan*, Jess Barbagallo, Michael Cyril Creighton*, Jennifer Harder, Nikole Beckwith

Production Staff

Director: Jose Zayas
Choreographer: Nicole Beerman
Set Design: Jason Simms
Costume Design: Sydney Maresca
Lighting Design: Bruce Steinberg
Sound Design: David Margolin Lawson
Associate Set Design: Caite Hevner

Press Representative: Katie Rosin/Kampfire PR
Production Stage Manager: Alex Mark*
Production Manager: Annie Jacobs

Technical Director: Andrew T. Chandler
Assistant Stage Managers: Katy Moore* & George Spencer
Graphic Design: Kate Northern

*denotes member of AEA

BUY TICKETS HERE

Produced by special arrangement with Playscripts, Inc. (www.playscripts.com)

A Reading of "The Sluts of Sutton Drive"

The Sluts of Sutton Drive

by Joshua Conkel

Directed by Lila Neugebauer

A vicious comedy about radical individualism vs the American family. Stephanie Schwartz is a working mother who enrolls in a strip aerobics class only to realize she hates men and promptly becomes addicted to drinking cleaning products. That's when things really begin to unravel...

Featuring the most bananas crazy talented cast ever assembled: Hannah Bos* (The Debate Society), Denny Bess* (EST), Amy Staats* (EST), Paul Thureen (The Debate Society) and Steve Boyer* (EST). Stage directions read by Gwendolyn Ellis.

Wednesday, October 13th @ 8:30 pm

549 W 52nd St., Sixth Floor
New York, NY 10019-7799
(212) 247-4982

FREE! FREE! FREE!
rsvp to boxoffice@ensemblestudiotheatre.org

*Actor's Equity

MilkMilkLemonade All Over.

Hi, Youngblood. I hope you're having a great summer. I'm busy planning my gay wedding, writing my next play, going to Fire Island, getting new tattoos and TOTALLY freaking out that my play, "MilkMilkLemonade" has just extended a second time in Los Angeles, just opened in Berkeley, is opening in Austin and starts rehearsals this week for it's second New York production.

As Nikole Beckwith would say, "BOOM!"

Los Angeles

The Los Angeles production of MilkMilkLemonade just extended and the show has been moved from their late night slot to their prime time slot. If you're in Los Angeles, please check out this fantastic production by Rogue Machine.

http://roguemachinetheatre.com/

Berkeley

Impact's production in Berkeley just opened to a rave review and mucho buzz. A little birdie (I have spies) told me this production was absolutely breathtaking. Go see it if you're in the area!

http://www.impacttheatre.com/

Austin

You can get a sneak peak of the Texas premiere at the Out of Bounds Comedy Festival tomorrow, and then the show opens on September 9th. (I'm really intrigued by this production because it's the first time Linda the Chicken is being played by a man. The stage directions say to cast across gender, race, age and body type and I find it encouraging that people are. It actually reads, "Don't be a pussy- BE BOLD.") Thanks, Shrewd Productions!

http://www.shrewdproductions.com/

New York

Yes, you know it. The original cast of MilkMilkLemonade is being brought together for a brand sparkling new production, now directed by Jose Zaya, at The Astoria Performing Arts Center. It's going to be stunning. Info to come...

Blogging Bloodworks: Conkel Edition

My play, The Sluts of Sutton Drive, is a dark comedy about a working mom who enrolls in a stripper-cise class only to realize that she hates men. A lifetime of awful sexual experiences come to a head in explosive ways when she becomes addicted to drinking household cleaning products and finds herself involved in a grisly crime.

I'm crazy, coo coo, insane right now doing the rewrites, and to be honest I'd like to take a break from thinking about it directly. I thought for this blog entry I'd share some of my inspiration points with you in a tidy list. I'm a man with exquisite tastes!

• Gossip. I was obsessed with riot grrl when I was fifteen and have been rediscovering it lately thanks to Gossip. I grew up in Washington State and all the cool, tough, brassy girls and arty gay boys (re: my people) were listening to bands like Bikini Kill, Seven Year Bitch, L7 etc. I'd all but given up on ever having bands this empowering and tough in the age of Miley Cyrus, but then there was Gossip. Portly lead singer Beth Ditto TURNS. IT. OUT. Their album, "Music for Men" is basically all I listened to while writing this. If you ever get the chance to see them live, RUN DON'T WALK.

• This is kind of vague but I don't know how else to say it: banal lady things. Shit that gets sold to women. Stupid shit that women actually buy. Like yogurt commercials, Sex and the City, Cathy comics, and women who pretend to be addicted to shoes. I hate and love these things so, so much. I was once presented as the only dude writer in a feminist theater festival. I was so saddened to find that all of the plays were basically about, like, weddings and yoga and babies and shitty things like that.
  

• The S.C.U.M. Manifesto by Valerie Solanas.
• All my friends are sick of me talking about Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, the 1970's sitcom/soap opera hybrid that I'm obsessed with. I'll just say this: it is amazing. The set is gorgeous in its ugliness, the lights are way too bright, and the all the actors are covered in pancake make-up. Plus, a sitcom with no laughter? Sign me up. It also doesn't hurt that the actors and writing are both brilliant. In a perfect world my play would look exactly this. So what if it doesn't take place in the 70s?

• This is going to seem really weird, but I read the complete works of Sarah Kane while I wrote this. That was probably influential. I hope people don't take this the wrong way, but am I crazy for thinking that Blasted is a little campy?
• The brilliant Roseanne Barr/Meryl Streep movie She-Devil.

• Your mom. Obviously.

Directed by Lila Neugebauer

Featuring Megan Hill, Nicole Beerman, Frank Harts, Paco Tolson and Curran Connor.

Thursday, May 20th
7:00 PM

Pace University
41 Park Row, 10th Floor
Schaeberle Studio Theater

FREE! FREE! FREE!