News: Conkel & Kern - Sam French Festival TONIGHT

Joshua Conkel & Jon Kern both have pieces in the Samuel French Off Off Broadway Short Play Festival: both plays were orginally produced by Youngblood and both plays are being performed TONIGHT (Tuesday July 14)!

At 7:30:

UP WITH (SOME) PEOPLE

by Joshua Conkel

directed by Jamie Richards

featuring Robert Askins & Theresa Stephenson

At 9:00:

WE SEMI-SOLIDS MELT INTO AIR

by Jon Kern

directed by Kel Haney

featuring Marguerite French, Thomas Lyons, James Murtaugh & Jay Patterson

Peter Jay Sharp Theater

416 West 42nd Street

Buy tickets here. (Apparently, those who purchase tickets for the 7:30 PM can also see the 9 PM show on a standby basis.)

The Samuel French Off Off Broadway Festival a great blog in which they've interviewed each playwright in the festival...

Click here for more information on Josh Conkel's UP WITH (SOME) PEOPLE (orginally produced in YB's Asking for Trouble).

Click here for more information on Jon Kern's WE SEMI-SOLIDS MELT INTO AIR (originally produced in YB's March Financial Crisis Brunch).

Blogging Bloodworks: Kern edition

A few days after the Times Square bomb scare in April when I was watching a hella lot of tv news, in my despair and terror and confusion I thought of a joke about terrorists. Really, less a joke than a funny scenario, but let's call it a joke for the sake of anecdote. After a week, I wondered if I could extend that joke into a scene. And after some mental tests, I got mind-seized by the question "can I extend that one, flimsy scene into a two-act play?"

And that's how I arrive at a comedy about suicide terrorists.

Modern Terrorism, or
They Who Want to Kill Us and How We Can Learn to Love Them
by Jon Kern

That's the title followed by my name.

It's meant to evoke Dr. Strangelove but people keep asking me about Chrisopher Durang. I've never seen or read Durang, so I can't say much about that.

The play follows a crew of Muslim terrorists plotting to attack New York. The play makes the assumption that terrorists are just people - people with homicidal ambitions - so again, just people. From talking with my mom, I'm worried that this view is empty provocation. From talking with the talented playwright Rey Pamatmat, I'm concerned that this view is trite and obvious.

The play looks at the characters from the same perspective I use to consider all people: they're fucked up loser-dreamers who inflate fleas into monsters and heartbeats into epic loves. My affection for humanity lies in our ability to endure humiliation and defeat. I think of terrorists as shame-burdened losers. I mean, you can't really win by just blowing shit up. All you can do is make sure the other guy also carries scars. And if you're desperate an vicious enough, that can seem like victory. Not that the Pyrrhic nature of the terrorist really matters when you're measuring by body counts or psychic trauma. You must balance out the validity of the emotional response to this threat with the rational considerations of what it materially achieves which says nothing of how the generated fear and hate manifests in behavior and . . .

And such are the wordy cul-de-sacs that I fall into when I discuss terrorism or, as I prefer to spookily pronounce it, TERRORISM! Ooooooooooooo!

It's easy to fear something that is different from you.
It's even easier to fear something different that also wants to kill you.
It's easy to fear and hate this something when this something has different values and attitudes,
Carries with it an animated intolerance toward groups you defend,
Professes opposite opinions on women, homosexuals, dogs, music, art, cartoons, raincoats, golden apples, paradoxes, haircuts, who would win a fight between Superman and Batman, foot attire, turtle races, giraffe ascots, the Mets, and many more concerns.
It's easy and it might even be right,
And I hate it.
Because once I feel afraid or vengeful or compassionless,
I already feel like I've lost.
And then somehow,
Even though all terrorists do is blow shit up,
They somehow win.

Motherfuckers.

In some sense, I want to care about them just out of spite.
You could say,
It's the Jewish mother in me. [Okay, as the English would say, off colour.]
Okay,
It's the Chinese mother in me. [That one I can get away with.]
But really it's just the obstinate comedian
Who refuses to believe you can't find a reason to laugh,
Even if the cause for the reason sucks,
And who has steadfast faith
That following laughter
Must come understanding.

Does my play accomplish all this?
I have my doubts.
I am more certain of my doubts than I am of my certainty.

At this point, all I really know is that I am skipping out on my buddy Tom and his awesome, blow out, paintball war bachelor party this weekend to try to finish and polish but mainly finish this play. Tom is a great, kind, humorous friend, who's had a tragic year and yet will end it in style with a lovely September wedding. I'm supposed to be a groomsman. And I'm missing most of his bachelor party.

I'm doing so in order to sit in a hot room with a burning hot laptop resting on me to bang out an noncommercial play that I'm not sure succeeds artistically on a subject that makes me uncomfortable. And at this moment, I wonder if I'm making the right choice. Choosing to sacrifice the loyalties that matter and the experiences you treasure and the people you love to obsessively pursue a dark, frustrated, tortured goal that most likely - all the odds say - ends with a flopping, unproduced failure.

Sacrifice: that's one thing I greatly respect. On that level I can relate to, even empathize with terrorists, or any dank-enclosed miscreant dedicated to an impossible and unhealthy ambition.

Their sickness is not my sickness,
But in the end,
We are both sick.

Modern Terrorism, or
They Who Want to Kill Us and How We Can Learn to Love Them
by Jon Kern

directed by Kel Haney

featuring Steve Boyer, Vedant Gokhale, Nitya Vidyasagar, and one more.

Monday June 28th
8pm

Schaeberle Studio at Pace University
41 Park Row (across from City Hall)
10th floor

Marathon

Okay guys, I’ve been doing some calculations.

So the official distance for a “Marathon” is 26.2 miles.

Currently, there are seven Youngblood members/alums included in EST’s 34th Annual Marathon of One-Act Plays.

Here they are, listed in alphabetical order, according to surname:

Rob Askins
Clare Barron
Joshua Conkel
Ryan Dowler
Eric Dufault
Jon Kern
Chris Sullivan

(What an attractive list of people! I would consensually date each and every one of them.)

Here’s what we’re going to do.

I’m going to go ahead and say that these plays are, on average, 20 pages long.

A typical sheet of paper is 11 inches tall and 8.5 inches wide.

So, if you laid out one of the playwright’s pages on the ground, they would stretch out 220 inches (18.3 feet).

If you laid out all of the playwrights’ pages, they would stretch to 1,540 inches (128.3 ft.)

Including scripts for actors, directors, playwrights, stage managers, etc, I’m going to say that about 50 final drafts of these plays will be/have been printed.

So, if you laid out all of these scripts on the ground, put on your sneakers, pinned a number to your shirt, and ran beside them, you would run... 6,415 feet, or 1.2 miles.



(I’ll be honest, I was really hoping that this number would be closer to 26.2 miles, thus allowing me to make the “Marathon” connection or something.)



Okay, I have a new tactic.

Hopstop tells me that, to get from my apartment in Astoria to Ensemble Studio Theatre, I walk approximately 1.17 miles.

I really like attending rehearsals for my play. I have attended 16 rehearsals, and will be able to attend five performances. That means that, all in all, I’ll have walked... 24.7 miles.

Which is still less than the distance of an actual Marathon.

What the fuck.

Guys, Marathons are really fucking long.


Whatever. Come see Youngblood members’ plays in the Marathon. Unlike my math, they won't disappoint. Information below. Series A begins Saturday.

Ensemble Studio Theatre presents
The 34th Marathon of One-Act Plays
May 18 - June 29, 2013

Series A: May 18 – June 2
Previews: May 18 & 19 @ 2pm & 7pm
Opening: May 21 @ 7pm

Poison by John Patrick Shanley*, directed by John Giampietro* with Jacqueline Antaramian, Alicia Goranson* & Aaron Serotsky

Kandahar to Canada By Dan O’Brien, directed by Mark Armstrong* with Lily Balsen, Jay Patterson* & Abraham Makany

You Belong to Me by Daniel Reitz*, directed by Marcia Jean Kurtz* with Scott Parkinson & Patricia Randell*

Curmudgeons in Love by Joshua Conkel*, directed by Ralph Peña* with Veronica Cruz, Nina Hellman, Alex Manette, David Margulies* & Martin Shakar*

Something Fine by Eric Dufault, directed by Larissa Lury
with Lucy DeVito*, Diana Ruppe* & Catherine Curtin*
June 1 & 2 @ 2pm
May 22, 23, 31, June 2 @ 7pm


Series B: May 28 - June 16
Previews: May 28, 29 @ 7pm
Opening: May 30 @ 7pm

Love Song of an Albanian Sous Chef by Robert Askins*, directed by Moritz Von Stuelpnagel*
A Sunrise in Times Square by Sharr White, directed by Claudia Weill*
The Favor by Leslie Ayvazian*, directed by Leslie Ayvazian*
Something Like Loneliness by Ryan Dowler, directed by Colette Robert*
Waking Up by Cori Thomas*, directed by Tea Alagić
Daddy Took My Debt Away by Bekah Brunstetter, directed by Jamie Richards*
June 8, 15, 16 @ 2pm
June 1, 9, 12, 14, 15, 16 @ 7pm


Series C: June 8 - June 29
Previews: June 7 & 8 @ 7pm
Opening: June 9 @ 2pm

Existence by Murray Schisgal*, directed by Peter Maloney*
Zero by Tommy Smith*, directed by William Carden*
Hate the Loser Inside by Jon Kern, directed by R.J. Tolan*
Carry the Zero by Christopher Sullivan, directed by Robert Saenz de Viteri
Solar Plexus by Clare Barron, directed by Nelson Eusebio
June 10, 13, 19, 20, 21, 22, 27, 28, 29 @ 7pm
June 29 @ 2pm
Tickets: $18
Student/Senior: $15
Previews: $10

2 Series Pass: $30
3 Series Pass: $40

Fortenberry & Kern: InterBlood INTERVIEW

Dorothy Fortenberry explains to Jon Kern how being the last one to know that stench is coming from poo on her own shoe reflects her life in a larger sense; Jon explains to Dorothy how he treats language like a Stretch Armstrong doll:

Jon Kern: In the plays of yours that I’ve heard, such as an early draft of your Bloodworks play SPECIES NATIVE TO CALIFORNIA, you demonstrate a nuanced and comic view of liberal political culture and attitudes. From where did you get your insight into the personal quirks of this political species, and what is your own relationship to ideas and behavior commonly labeled “liberal”?
Dorothy Fortenberry: Yeah, wow, that's pretty nail-on-the-head. One of my friends, a dramaturg, described my work by saying that my "project was taking the piss out of liberals." And, she's pretty much right. In SPECIES NATIVE TO CALIFORNIA, it's exploring a sort of knee-jerk multiculturalism and nature-appreciation that I don't think is wrong—I mean, I like nature—but it's also very comfy. In GOOD EGG, it's reproduction and women's choices (I actually mean choices here and not just abortion). And even CAITLIN AND THE SWAN opens up questions about tolerance and sexuality—what are we okay with and why?Whence the fascination with liberals? I guess a lot of it is exposure. I grew up in Washington, DC, went to a fancy east coast high school, a fancy east coast college, and a fancy east coast grad school—all the while not thinking of myself as a fancy east coast person. I think I tended to look at the people around me at a distance, and it made some things pop out—and some things really hit home. While I do have some conservative habits and beliefs (get to know me! find out what!), the liberal I am making fun of is almost always myself.

JK: Recently, your play CAITLIN AND THE SWAN tore it up at Under St. Marks, notching a ton of praise-tastic reviews. How do you handle success? What is your favorite and least favorite thing about being awesome?
DF: Yes, I am now internet-famous along with some guy's surprised cat and Tay Zonday! Um, seriously we got some lovely notices - for a great job done by Joshua Conkel and The Management, and I am so happy about the show. Luckily, the population of theater-blog-readers is tactful enough that I don't get mobbed getting my latte each morning. In terms of being awesome, I really try to take it day by day.

JK: You have a wonderful, humor-twinkled, critical eye for your own life experiences. What story from your life most commonly makes you think “Well, that’s me”?
DF: Okay, true story. Once I was doing research at the main DC public library building for a play I was working on. This is a big, urban public library downtown, so, as always, it’s full of all kinds of people. And I'm at this table reading my books, feeling really good about myself for how successfully my trip is going, when I notice that someone around me kind of smells. I look around and there are a couple somewhat shabby gentlemen nearby. No big deal, I think, and keep reading. But the smell gets worse. And my inner monologue becomes "Just read your book, don't look at the smelly men." I even try not too sniff too loudly in case they take it the wrong way. At this point, I totally could have just checked the book out and gone home, but I didn't want to offend them. It's not their fault they smell, right? So I finish the book—finally—and walk out of the library, and I'm waiting at the crosswalk when I realize I can still smell the smell. I look down and there's dog shit on my shoe. It's been there the whole time. And that's my life.

JK: What’s the meanest joke you’ve ever said? If not said, heard?
DF:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

At least that's what they tell me

Because I'm blind

(I wrote that on my middle school poetry wall in 7th grade. I got in trouble—for being mean, not for stealing it from Gary Larson's unpublished Far Side cartoons.)

JK: When did theater first insinuate itself into your life? Have you always pursued the path of a playwright?
DF: Theater got in there early. Way before soccer. I probably saw my first live performance in nursery school, and then I acted in class plays and school plays starting in grade school and going through high school. I did drama at summer camp (not swimming; I still can't really swim) and saw my first professional show when I was in 4th grade. It was CATS. And I hated it, of which I am still proud. I first wanted to be a playwright at 13 or 14, when I had maybe 2 pages of dialogue under my belt. I first seriously considered doing it like for real when I was about 23.

JK: Your husband, Colin Wambsgans, is a composer. Are you two able to bond over the connections between music and theatrical language?
DF: So the big unfairness of our relationship is that I think primarily in words and he thinks in sounds, but we have all our conversations in words. It's kind of like being married to someone who speaks French and making them learn English and never getting past "Bonjour" yourself. I often feel like if I wanted to be really fair I would make us have half our conversations in glockenspiel. I think that's why it was so much fun to work on a musical together (we wrote one called BICYCLING FOR LADIES about terrorist suffragettes)—I could speak in words and he could respond in music and we could carry on a dialogue that way.

JK: When writing, do you envision an idealized image of your characters? How clear a picture of the world on stage do you carry?
DF: Hmm, not very. I think a lot in speech, rhythm, and energy, but not so much in physical type. Similarly, I know a lot about how the worlds feel, but usually very little about how they look. Often, when I think I know something about a character physically, it turns out that I'm using a physical trait for a life experience one. Like, I'll think a character is tall and strong, but what I mean is that she isn't used to being treated as little and delicate. And there could be an actor who is physically small but her energy is equally "I got this."

JK: Like myself, you’re the product of a fancy, expensive education. What’s the most useful lesson you learned while spending thousands of dollars a year to do so? What’s the most useless shit you picked up [useless shit can be fun trivia or grumbles & complaints or both]?
DF: Most useful lesson? It's going to sound like a cliché, but persistence. [At the Yale School of Drama], [w]e had a weekly class where working artists and theater professionals came in and talked to us, and I was always amazed by the stories of the playwrights across the table. And these were folks I would kill to be, and they told their stories of "how did I get here" and it was always really circuitous and strange. I kept thinking somewhere there would be a linear playwright who just rationally advanced up the ladder, but I never met him. Gradually, over three years, I changed the way I thought about success and how it's achieved and when. Which is good, because I think according to my old definition of success I would now be a failure. The most useless? The idea that you can size up quickly who's going to be "important" and make them your friend. Be nice to everyone, sure, but there's no need to size up peers. You can't know who's going to be rich and famous. So stop talking about it.

JK: What is your favorite recipe to eat? What is your favorite recipe to cook?
DF: To eat? Mashed potatoes. To cook? Kale and sausage lasagna.

JK: What five things are most likely to worry you tomorrow?
DF: Why haven't I done better re-writes of SPECIES NATIVE TO CALIFORNIA? How will the rehearsal and reading go? Can we really trust the stress tests, or are the economy and our banking system totally doomed? Why aren't I a more organized person and better employee? Why aren't I a less organized person and better artist?

JK: On winter retreat, Mike Lew gave you the nickname Dofo, which has stuck in Youngblood. In that spirit, what would be your pornstar identity? Rollerderby alias?
DF: Hmm, I know that my porn name would be middle + first street = Ashley Columbia. Which I frankly love. I think she might now be a Real Housewife, actually. Rollerderby alias? Undine Slagg.

On that note, Dorothy turns the tables on Jon...:

Dorothy Fortenberry: In addition to your playwriting career, you are also an improv star with We Are Colossus and the author of the hilarious and informative "True Facts." Do you feel like being a comedy performer influences your playwriting, or are they separately defined spheres for you?
Jon Kern: I was an improviser before I ever finished a play, first with a group named JENNY, and then after grad school, I was on a Magnet Theater house team called the YES ANDERSENS for two years. I use a lot of improv principles when I write, such as callbacks, pacing, and avoiding questions. I also take playwriting concepts into improv, such as demanding everyone stick to my assigned script and giving writer’s notes to the actors. The two big mantras of New York improv are “Don’t Think” and “Truth in Comedy.” Since playwriting is a fucklot of thinking, only one of these applies when I write. My improv experience though taught me how to embody characters physically, how to heighten the energy of a scene, how to punch a joke or add a button, and how to make each line carry meaningful information. And if you want to have a discussion with the pretentious twat that lives inside my head, he will gladly explain his theory that comedy is an ethical philosophy.

DF: Your VICTORY brunch play HATE THE LOSER INSIDE gave people physical pain via laughter, in part because it had an amazing grasp of the low-budget commercial lexicon. Why do you know what terrible commercials sound like so well? For real, where does research fit into your writing process?
JK: I'm one of those guys who will talk back to 2am infomercials. They weirdly combine the aspirational with the sleazy, and I have a deep love for that form of junk culture. So for HATE THE LOSER INSIDE, I had all the research already jammed into my head. My research process usually consists of me trying to write, then freaking out about how I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, and then reading stuff online or even buying a bunch of books to fill in gaps. My brain can scramble fact and fiction so readily, I am always fearful that what I'm saying is complete bullshit. Also, I can project authority and confidence in knowledge that I don't really have. It's an attitude that helped me throughout college, but now I don't know how to break the habit. So most of my research is done to help me become the man I can seem like.

DF: I've also noticed a (perhaps complimentary) trend in your writing to invent new turns of phrase ("sexing," "bitch nipples")—what draws you to developing a specific language for your plays? Does it come out of a particular character or an environment?
JK: Didn't Shakespeare invent like 900 new words or phrases? That guy knew how to rock it. I think I tend to make up words because something is broke in my brain. In a recent New Yorker article, I read that synthesia results from an excess of neural connections between sections of the brain. It was hypothesized that creativity works the same way. So probably a bunch of wires in my skull are all screwed around, and now I compulsively remix the words I hear. I enjoy simple substitution games [e.g. “George Washington Carver studied peanuts” becomes “James Madison Mincer invented soy lecithin”] and treating language like it’s a Stretch Armstrong doll. Words are fragments of sound, as much as they are tiny packets of meaning. I find that the content of words is less interesting than the music they create in my head. So often I’ll think of some phrase that sounds funny and reverse engineer a character out of why someone would speak like that.

DF: In addition to Youngblood, you're a member of the Ma-Yi Writers Lab. What's it like being in two groups? Are the feedback styles different? Do you feel like there's such a thing as a "Ma-Yi play" or a "Youngblood play" or do you workshop the same work in both groups?
JK: There's a long history of crossover between the Ma-Yi Writers Lab, which is a pan-Asian-American theater group, and Youngblood. Mike Lew, Kyoung Park, and I are in both groups, and the Lab features Youngblood alums Lloyd Suh, Qui Nguyen, and Mrinalini Kamath. Ma-Yi meetings are a looser vibe, with people usually bringing snacks for all. Also, the Lab is much politer and better at math as a whole. I bring the same exact work to both groups, but typically a Ma-Yi play is 186% more Asian-y.

DF: We're both newbies and joined in October. What is the biggest surprise about what being in Youngblood is like versus what you thought it would be like?
JK: Since joining Youngblood, I drink more than I used to. I guess I wasn't expecting that. Also, when I joined Youngblood, RJ and Graeme promised me my own human skull goblet from whence I could sup the blood of the innocent. Right now I'm having to sup the blood of the innocent out of plastic Dixie cups, and that doesn't really do it for the peasant villages I lord over with unjust tyranny. Something about a plastic Dixie cup just doesn't say, "Fear me! Or I'll rape your children!" More like "Fear me! And then meet me by the old chestnut tree for the three-legged race!"

RJ!
Graeme!
Human skull goblet NOW!

DF: Is there a typical first for you, as you begin a new piece (line of dialogue, image, character, idea), or does it vary piece to piece?
JK: It varies.

DF: Do you hate re-writing as much as I do? If not, why not?

JK: Re-writing can be frustrating because the text and characters you already have carry implications that block you from further discover. The joy of writing is that freedom of release as language waterfalls from the tropical paradise of your open mind. That freedom is harder to find as your play accumulates. Yet when you’re in a re-write and that block clears, it’s like the clouds have parted and a choir of angels have built a beer garden in the sky, where they’re pouring nothing but crisp Czech pilsners for free. I think the frustration comes when we mistake the empty page for freedom. Real freedom is finding harmony with what you are doing at any moment, which leads to a connection with your work that blurs the limits between the self and the world around. That oneness is real freedom, and I agree it can be a bitch to find at certain stages in the writing process.

DF: What did you think you'd be doing 10 years ago? 20?
JK: Well, 10 years ago I was 18. I had gone to college thinking I'd become a psychiatrist but decided to concentrate [U of Chicago term for major] in Sociology when I didn't want to do any of that medical stuff. So I really had no idea about 10 years later. 20 years ago I was 8, and I probably imagined I would grow up to do something important that made my parents proud. I've been pretty much devoid of intelligent planning all my life, which is what led me to playwriting.

DF: You're from New York and went to grad school here. What's your relationship as a writer to the city? And what's it like having your parents come to all your work?

JK: Wow, those are big and separate questions. I've never written about New York, but there’s no doubt I’m a product of the city. I was raised to be a behavior watcher out of the boredom of countless subway rides. And if you keep your ears attentive, you can always slip in and out of intriguing conversations. New York (every borough of it, even Staten Island) is a ninja training camp for honing the skills of a playwright. My parents have come to so many of my shows, at this point I think of them like regular audience members, albeit ones who I will see later and who will tell me everything they liked and didn’t like. My mom and dad are enormously kind, generous people. Their dedication has taught me that if you care about others, you ought to express that by investing your time in support of their passions. I know the day after I strangle my parents because they don’t know how to mute a television, I will think back to all the performances they have seen and feel very fortunate to have such memories.

DF: The Internet -- playwriting friend or foe?
JK: More like a lover who does not know when TO SHUT THE FUCK UP. When it's good, it's too good to walk away from, but damn if there aren't times you wanna just . . .

Dorothy's Bloodworks piece will be read this Wednesday (5/13); Jon's will be read Wednesday, 6/3. All Bloodworks readings start at 7Pm @Seaport.

Kern: Blogging BLOODWORKS

Jon Kern:

The play I’m working for my Bloodworks reading is called We In Silence Hear A Whisper. It’s based off an idea I had in 2005 when I was in grad school thinking, “How would you write a play about the genocide in Darfur and make it not suck?” Now, when I tell people I’m writing a play about Darfur, they tend to look at me like I just farted in a puppy’s face. I take it they think I’ve engaged in a foolish-to-inappropriate endeavor.

I know I’ve engaged in a foolish, perhaps inappropriate endeavor. Why else would I sit on an idea for 4 years? [Not always but often] I have a tremendously hard time getting myself to write. My body will literally fight itself. My muscles twist and tighten. My chest spasms. Paroxysms of silence shudder my limbs. I can feel words travel my throat that are never heard [‘cause I don’t speak them] and are never read [‘cause I don’t write them], until my throat grows cramped and soar like the calves of a psychotic runner, the kind who enjoy taking off their socks to see how bad their feet have bleed.

I think I should do something else. That’s the sane response, right? I tell myself, “You should ­­­_____" or "Really, what you ought to do is ______" or "Wouldn’t doing ______ be a lot more productive and helpful for ________?” Problem is, I can never fill in the blanks. All my thoughtful wishes for a different life are a virgin madlib. What else can I do? What else will anyone let me do? What else am I any good at? And so here I am, having to write a play for Bloodwork by decree of Baron Gillis and Vicomte Tolan, and I thought, “Let’s do that I idea you are super terrified to do! If you’re going to do this shit, do it stupid!”

Writing a play that touches on genocide – a current genocide – does offer a lot of ways to suck. I certainly don’t enjoy self-flagellating, liberal theater that wants to punish you for showing up. And I don’t enjoy academic lectures delivered by actors; if I had a passion for academia, I would’ve gone to a real grad school so I could currently be sitting in some small city or college town playing politics for a tenure track. And I’m not really sure if I’m qualified to speak for experiences that are the foreignest of foreign to me. And I don’t want to talk just about western, white people as much as I personally like them.

Horror needs to be named. Abject cruelty needs to be exposed. Evil needs the stage. Otherwise, the crimes we humans inflict on each other go unsolved. Worse, they get forgotten. One of the many lessons I’ve taken from the Bush years is that while knowledge of awful things is awful, ignorance of them is far worse. Ignorance is Miracle Grow™ for awful things. Ignorance is Cialis for the four-hour fuckpages of awful things. Yet if we’re going to open our eyes to evil, perhaps shake evil’s hand, perhaps chat evil a few questions at a dinner party, we have to experience the witnessing of that evil as a compelling event - as something aesthetic, worth seeing like any other object competing in the markplace of stimulation. The acceptable aesthetics of evil: that’s the fucking question. That’s the challenge that’s sat inside me for 4 years.

So here I am.

My reading of We In Silence Hear A Whisper is on June 3rd at 7pm. I’m excited to discover that night how badly I’ve failed, and I offer you the schadenfruede to discover along with me. I’m hopeful that I won’t, but a little suspicious that I will. Either way, we’re alive and ready to find out.


NB: If you are fortunate enough to have extra money or time, these people do good work - Doctors Without Borders and The International Rescue Committee. Please help them out, if you can

Jon's Bloodworks reading is next Wednesday (6/3) at 7 PM @SEAPORT! - 210 Front Street (@SEAPORT! is located at 210 Front Street, in the South Street Seaport--A/C to Broadway/Nassau, 2/3/4/5/J/M/Z to Fulton Street. Walk down Fulton Street to the Seaport, turn left before The Gap and the BODIES exhibit-- @SEAPORT! is half a block down on the left.)
Admission is free.

Alick: Blogging BLOODWORKS

Jesse Cameron Alick, answering a few Youngblog's questions regarding his Bloodworks piece, NO POEM NO SONG:

YB:What are you working on? Something you’ve been developing a while? Something that you are revising/revisiting? Something entirely new?

JCA: I'm working on a play that I started a couple years ago called NO POEM NO SONG - it's been collecting dust for years however, and then in January after a trip to Grenada (my ancestral homeland) I injected new life into the play. And it's been rolling out of control since!

YB: what is your piece exploring?

JCA: In a nutshell, NO POEM NO SONG is about the relationship between West Indian folklore and East Indian religion. I use both traditions to create a pantheon and then use the gods and spirits of the pantheon to tell the tale of the end of the world. It's a story about myth and about freedom.

Jesse (seated), with his uncle in Grenada

YB: Why are you interesting in working on this piece RIGHT NOW?

JCA: This piece is another step in my journey of exploring the religions of the world through theatrical means. A lot of people will tell you the wack things that religions are responsible for - but I'd argue that it's their followers, not the actual religions that are wack. I'm a big believer in belief...

YB: What kind of inspiration is making this piece happen for you?

JCA: As I mentioned to Kern [as in Jon Kern, fellow YBer] the other night as we were riding the train home - I write in order to find a way to be closer to the Almighty. I don't know how that sounds, but its the truth, so there ya go! The idea behind a lot of my work is to attempt to understand the unknowable.

YB:How is the writing going? Is it developing in similar/different ways than your usual writing?

JCA: It's going...okay. I mean GOOD - but in a terrifying way. I'm trying a new method of development this time around - I'm having a sort of "pre-reading" with meat and bones theater company on Monday April 27th, then doing another re-write, then doing the YB [Bloodworks] reading in June. My hope is that by that time I will have ironed out the wrinkles in the worlds I'm creating...

YB: What are you hoping to gain out of the reading? Any particular questions you are trying to get answered?

JCA: I wanna see if it works. I'm wondering if the audience will "get" what I'm trying to do. I hope so! I really believe in this play and I'm enjoying the hell out of shaping and watching it's life.

One more thing: My little brother Kyle wrote a song based on a character that's in my play, LaDiablesse - here is the link to his bands website, where the song is.

Kern: TRUE FACTS

Jon Kern will be educating us periodically with his TRUE FACTS...

Dingos are curiously allergic to 1980s synth pop. It is strenuously recommend that, if you ever go hiking in the Australian Outback, you carry Flock of Seagull's "Flock of Seagulls" to protect yourself against dingo attacks.

Kern: VICTORY BRUNCH Blogging

Jon Kern's thoughts on his VICTORY BRUNCH Piece:

I finished the first draft of my May Brunch play [still yet untitled] yesterday. I brought it to the Ma-Yi Writers Lab and got a motherload of useful feedback that I now have to spend my subway hours thinking about. The idea for my play came from seeing a brief clip of the documentary "Winnebago Man" on the IFC channel Wednesday afternoon. That lead me to see that actual "Winnebago Man" clips on YouTube. So basically, this is a play inspired by a viral video on YouTube of outtakes from an industrial commercial. I originally had another idea for the May Brunch [even wrote 2 pages], but when I saw this Winnebago pitchman losing his shit I was immediately struck with the desire to see THAT on a stage. I've been wanting to write about the making of a commercial for awhile. In this media saturated, multi-networked, global mindspace, commercials are alarge part of our shared experience, and how they're made is the story of how we're being trained to see the world. When I saw this salesman caught between the animalistic passions he can't contain and the banality of his work, I was instantly smitten. Things clicked. His mounting frustration over how he can't remember his lines leads to this glorious, achingly pure profanity. I don't consider myself that good at communication [it's a massive irony that I'm a writer]. Most of life seems like things I wish I had said or didn't know how to say or can't even really properly give just due with the words I know. What I enjoy about theater is trying to express inarticulateness, hold that up for public view to uncover the emotions behind it. Jack Rebney, the Winnebago Man, embodies this existential state, the inherently dramatic struggle simply to live through each day, in the ordinary way, which to me is victory. Also, the video's fucking hilarious.

Dispatch from the Department of Non Sequiturs‏

Dispatch from the Department of Non Sequiturs‏, headed by Jon Kern:

So this is a random thought that leaped into my head today. The top five current Youngblood members whose names would be fun to say as SNL announcer Don Pardo. In order.

#5) Anna Moench

#4) Mira Gibson

#3) Sharyn Rothstein

#2) Kyoung H. Park

and the #1 current Youngblood member name that would be fun to say as Don Pardo . . .

#1) Delaney Britt Brewer!

Jon

News: May's VICTORY BRUNCH

Sunday, May 3rd marks the final YOUNGBLOOD BRUNCH of the season--The VICTORY Brunch (details to follow!). RJ & Graeme challenged YB to explore 'What happens when we win?'

Watch for blog entries from the five YBers (Robert Askins, Eliza Clark, Joshua Conkel, Jon Kern & Michael Lew), who, I'm willing to wager, are drafting their short plays right now!

News: Bloodworks - TONIGHT! and TOMORROW!

BLOODWORKS - TONIGHT:CAKE LIGHT

by Courtney Brooke Lauria

directed by Jordan Young

A play about people’s connection to one another. A play about people’s connection to theater. A play about people’s connection to electronics. All lit by the glow of birthday candles (kinda).

And tomorrow night:

RETURNING HOME

by Erica Saleh

directed by Kel Haney

featuring Jessica Barr, Paul Downs Colaizzo, Andrea Maulella, William Peden, Joanna Simmons & RJ Tolan

A play about second choices, second chances and a woman who thought the past was past until the man carrying her secrets walked through the diner door...

Coming up:
Tues June 2 - ANNA MOENCH
Weds June 3 - JON KERN
Tues June 16 - NIKOLE BECKWITH
Weds June 17 - JESSE CAMERON ALICK
Tues June 23 - PATRICK LINK
Weds June 24 - JOSHUA CONKEL
Tues June 30 - ELIZA CLARK
Weds July 1 - ROBERT ASKINS

BLOODWORKS: 2009 Youngblood's annual reading series Youngblood (Ensemble Studio Theatre's company of playwrights under 30) is proud to present BLOODWORKS - our annual reading series, featuring a brand new full-length play from each of our member playwrights.

ALL READINGS are @ 7pm and are free of charge @SEAPORT! - 210 Front Street

@SEAPORT! is located at 210 Front Street, in the South Street SeaportA/C to Broadway/Nassau, 2/3/4/5/J/M/Z to Fulton StreetWalk down Fulton Street to the Seaport, turn left before The Gap and the BODIES exhibit.

@SEAPORT! is half a block down on the left.has just started to teeter on its axis.

This year, for the first time, the BLOODWORKS readings are hosted by Dog Run Rep at the @SEAPORT! space at South Street Seaport.

News: May Brunch - SECOND SHOW ADDED

The VICTORY Brunch sold out almost immediately - BUT there are still tickets available!How does that work, you ask?




By overwhelming popular demand, for the final Brunch of the season, we're ADDING ANOTHER PERFORMANCE on the 6th Floor!

It's all the same shows, with all the same casts, just a half hour later. Curtain time for the 6th floor show will be 1:30pm, and there will be a bar and a buffet just like downstairs.


That's right. It's our first ever DOUBLE BRUNCH.


Be a part of Youngblood history - get your reservations now because the extra show will go fast!


See what happens when the playwrights of Youngblood write about WINNING, and the WINNERS who do it.



THE BRUNCHFAST OF CHAMPIONS!


Five brand new short plays about VICTORY from:
Rob ASKINS
Eli CLARK
Joshua CONKEL
Jon KERN
Michael LEW

Five brand new plays, plus our fabulous BRUNCH BUFFET of pancakes, eggs, bacon, pastries and fruit. And our morally reprehensible, fiscally indefensible OPEN BAR of mimosas and bloody marys - all for a TRIUMPHANT $15!

Reservations are ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL!
call (212) 247-4982 x107 or email info@youngbloodnyc.org


Sunday, May 3


2nd Floor Performance:
doors open at 12:30 for buffet/barshow starts at 1pm
(food goes fast, so get there early!)


6th Floor Performance:doors open at 1pm for buffet/barshow starts at 1:30pm

Any reservations not picked up by 10 minutes before curtain time can not be guaranteed.

Ensemble Studio Theater: 2nd Floor 549 West 52nd Street (bet. 10/11)

Leaving Youngblood: the lessons learned

I’ve made a list of all the wonderful moments I'll never forget from Youngblood: the laughter that comes from reading someone's new play out loud; the discussions in which a playwright snaps to verbalize what their play is about; RJ and Graeme's wise observations of what's core in a scene, in a character, in a play.

But workshopping our work was just a fraction of what we did. Every Wednesday, we met to talk about the shows we’ve seen, breaking down what’s working and not working in new plays, and during the breaks, we talked about our own challenges living and writing in New York. Fascinating were the moments in which these struggles were revealed in our work, or discussed 'till late-night over drinks at McCoy's.

If being a new playwright in the city is not difficult enough, being a foreign, young playwright in the city is rough. There's an incredible amount of barriers to face when you’re trying to cross borders, cross cultures, to become part of a new community. So I have to take this moment to thank Youngblood for giving me a home.

The popular story is that I’m the most MIA playwright in Youngblood because I was deported, and in truth, I was absent for 4 years of my membership. However, before I left the States, I asked RJ whether I could remain a member and while I was gone, I kept Youngblood in my heart.

Abroad, it was hard for me to identify myself as a playwright, so I held on to my membership to not lose sight of my creative needs. During those years, I'd manage to return to the city once a year and bring pages to the group. Once, there was a two-hour long melodrama, where I poured my heart out to describe all my frustrations with love, in often subversive or coded relationship dramas.

I was dealing with a sexual identity crisis, worsened by a tri-lingual cultural clash, and playwriting was what held me together. It was through my writing that I could identify my problems and deal with them, mostly in solitude, and if I didn't have the support of Youngblood, that period in my life would have been unbearable. 

I traveled a lot, and a lot of that was a means to escape. Escape my problems. Escape my frustrations. Avoidance was necessary, because I was too afraid to be who I was. But then I'd come to Youngblood and say to myself: well, one of the big problems I have is a sexual-identity crisis, so I emailed RJ and Graeme telling them that Youngblood needed to make a firm stance in favor of gay rights. So before the Marriage Equality law was passed in New York, Graeme got in a wedding dress and RJ married him in one of my brunch plays. That's one of the moments that I personally, will never forget.

Around that time, I was working on a play called "disOriented," which was directed by Carlos Armesto and produced by his company, Theatre C. Carlos and I met through Youngblood on my first year in the group, back in the days when Carlos was Associate Artistic Director of EST. Looking back at where Carlos and I started and where we ended, I am so thankful to Youngblood for introducing us, and planting the seed of one of my best collaborations so far.

Meanwhile, I had the privilege to learn the singular beauty of each playwright's voice, their unique personalities, and over the past eight years, it's been incredible to watch playwrights achieve incredible accomplishments. I'll never forget what I've learned from fellow Youngblooders: Qui Nguyen, Liz Meriwether, Zakiyyah Alexander, Edith Freni, Sharyn Rothstein, Amy Herzog, Annie Baker, Jon Kern, Mike Lew, Josh Conkel, Lucy Alibar, Rob Askins--but they're just a fraction of the talent Youngblood has nurtured, and it's just a matter of time before each Youngblood playwright will make me see something new about the theater and literally make me say: "whoa."

But the greatest lesson I've learned comes from looking back at the first play I brought to the group. After college, I was obsessed with the tragic form and I was working on a trilogy of tragedies called THE HOUSING PROJECT. The first play, HOUSE OF SOL, dealt with a young gay man, full of revenge and anger, that severed ties with his family. The play was read as part of UNFILTERED, and performed by seven men playing both men and women. The show was a drag show that never got produced, because I kept on self-censoring myself while writing it. On a retreat to the Catskills, I remember Graeme advising me to avoid self-sabotage. And after reading the play, I remember RJ acknowledging how hard it was to sever ties with your family.

This year, I’m finally facing the music, as I take the necessary steps to make New York City my permanent home. In my last brunch play for Youngblood's "Fellowship of the Brunch," I wrote about what’s going on to explore the personal challenges I’ve been too embarrassed to talk about in person. Sitting in rehearsals with Kel Haney (our director) and our cast, we talked about how my situation happens and how sad it is that it's true. Yet, at the same time, there’s something completely liberating about unveiling your personal wounds, and edifying to have a place to talk about them while being empowered.

Caryl Churchill once described playwriting as exposing your mind on stage, to then have it chopped up to pieces by the press. But in the art of making theater, I've been able to bring in these complicated, personal situations to learn how to deal with them empathically, and that has made me personally, and I believe artistically, a much stronger and braver human being. For this, there aren't enough words to express my gratitude to Youngblood.

For those that know my work, they know that I like writing political theater, because I believe that theater is a rehearsal room for social change. In that sense, Youngblood also gave me the home I needed until I could find the tools to build a home for myself. And for that, I’ll never forget how Youngblood taught me to stay true to my voice, to listen to it and use it to change my life. Many thanks Youngblood. These lessons, I'll always remember.

News: Bloodworks - TONIGHT!

BLOODWORKS 2009: Youngblood's annual reading series

TONIGHT!!!: Wednesday, May 13 - SPECIES NATIVE TO CALIFORNIA - by Dorothy Fortenberry

Youngblood (Ensemble Studio Theatre's company of playwrights under 30) is proud to present BLOODWORKS - our annual reading series, featuring a brand new full-length play from each of our member playwrights.


ALL READINGS are @ 7pm and are free of charge @SEAPORT! - 210 Front Street

Tonight: SPECIES NATIVE TO CALIFORNIA

by Dorothy Fortenberry

directed by Becca Wolff

with Jack Davidson, Sharon Freedman, Florencia Lozano, Irene Lucio, Alex Major, Christian Ramirez, Erica Sullivan and Paco Tolson*

* member of Ensemble Studio Theatre


Skip and his daughters, Zo and Mara, live on the land - as rich hippies do. Gloria and her son Victor live with them, as "part of the family." And Jeff, Mara's boyfriend, just wants to make a good first impression. But when economic crisis comes to the vineyard, ghosts return to break the families' fragile balance. Mexican folk tales meet Mendocino County in this new play inspired by The Cherry Orchard.


And coming up...:
Tues May 19 - SHARYN ROTHSTEIN
Weds May 20 - MICHAEL LEW
Tues May 26 - COURTNEY BROOKE LAURIA
Weds May 27 - ERICA SALEH
Tues June 2 - ANNA MOENCH
Weds June 3 - JON KERN
Tues June 16 - NIKOLE BECKWITH
Weds June 17 - JESSE CAMERON ALICK
Tues June 23 - PATRICK LINK
Weds June 24 - JOSHUA CONKEL
Tues June 30 - ELIZA CLARK
Weds July 1 - ROBERT ASKINS

This year, for the first time, the BLOODWORKS readings are hosted by Dog Run Rep at the @SEAPORT! space at South Street Seaport.

@SEAPORT! is located at 210 Front Street, in the South Street SeaportA/C to Broadway/Nassau, 2/3/4/5/J/M/Z to Fulton Street
Walk down Fulton Street to the Seaport, turn left before The Gap and the BODIES exhibit. @SEAPORT! is half a block down on the left.

GOOGLE MAP

NEWS: Bloodworks - Tonight!... Tomorrow Night!

BLOODWORKS: 2009 Youngblood's annual reading series

Youngblood (Ensemble Studio Theatre's company of playwrights under 30) is proud to present BLOODWORKS - our annual reading series, featuring a brand new full-length play from each of our member playwrights.

ALL READINGS are @ 7pm and are free of charge

@SEAPORT! - 210 Front Street

This week:

Tuesday, May 19

SILVER TO A TRADING AGENT

by Sharyn Rothstein

directed by Michael Silverstone

with Bill Cwikowski*, Richmond Hoxie*, Ilene Kristen*, Aidan O'Shea, Jane Pfitsch and Patricial Randell*

It's the fall of 2007 and the economy has just started to teeter on its axis. Catherine Murdoch is the head of wealth management at one of the world's biggest banks, and she's known for her commitment to honest investing. But when she's passed over for CEO, Catherine must choose whether to hold fast to her ideals or to engage in riskier - and more rewarding - investing on behalf of her clients. Wall Street, the current economic meltdown, the role of women and whistleblowing collide in this new play about some of the dirty choices that got us where we are today.

Wednesday, May 20

BURY THE IRON HORSE

by Michael Lew

with Louis Changchien, Cindy Cheung*, Jackie Chung, Eunice Ha and Natalie Kim

"This is it, bitches: Iron Horse Park."

This is the Seattle park where three sisters reunite after a long estrangement.

This is where their parents fell in love and started a salmon cannery.

This is where Dad took them on hikes and Mom skinned salmon.

This is where Dad left them.

Through six interwoven camping trips, a family comes together and falls apart, and three sisters return to bury the Iron Horse.

* member of Ensemble Studio Theatre

Coming up:

Tues May 26 - COURTNEY BROOKE LAURIA

Weds May 27 - ERICA SALEH

Tues June 2 - ANNA MOENCH

Weds June 3 - JON KERN

Tues June 16 - NIKOLE BECKWITH

Weds June 17 - JESSE CAMERON ALICK

Tues June 23 - PATRICK LINK

Weds June 24 - JOSHUA CONKEL

Tues June 30 - ELIZA CLARK

Weds July 1 - ROBERT ASKINS

This year, for the first time, the BLOODWORKS readings are hosted by Dog Run Rep at the @SEAPORT! space at South Street Seaport.

@SEAPORT! is located at 210 Front Street, in the South Street Seaport

A/C to Broadway/Nassau, 2/3/4/5/J/M/Z to Fulton Street

Walk down Fulton Street to the Seaport, turn left before The Gap and the BODIES exhibit. @SEAPORT! is half a block down on the left.

GOOGLE MAP

BLOODWORKS: TONIGHT! TOMORROW!

TONIGHT:
Great Eastern

by Anna Moench

directed by Michael Silverstone


TOMORROW:
We In Silence Hear A Whisper

by Jon Kern

directed by Colette Robert

featuring Ayesha Ngaujah, Shydel James, Frank Harts, Louis Changchien, Laura Heidinger

BLOODWORKS: 2009 Youngblood's annual reading series Youngblood (Ensemble Studio Theatre's company of playwrights under 30) is proud to present BLOODWORKS - our annual reading series, featuring a brand new full-length play from each of our member playwrights.

ALL READINGS are @ 7pm and are free of charge @SEAPORT! - 210 Front Street
@SEAPORT! is located at 210 Front Street, in the South Street Seaport
A/C to Broadway/Nassau, 2/3/4/5/J/M/Z to Fulton Street
Walk down Fulton Street to the Seaport, turn left before The Gap and the BODIES exhibit. @SEAPORT! is half a block down on the left.has just started to teeter on its axis.
This year, for the first time, the BLOODWORKS readings are hosted by Dog Run Rep at the @SEAPORT! space at South Street Seaport.

Coming up:

Tues June 16 - NIKOLE BECKWITH

Weds June 17 - JESSE CAMERON ALICK

Tues June 23 - PATRICK LINK

Weds June 24 - JOSHUA CONKEL

Tues June 30 - ELIZA CLARK

Weds July 1 - ROBERT ASKINS

Behind the Scenes: This is How We Roll

Two days ago, Youngblood co-director Graeme Gillis sent a massive update email to the creative team of ASKING FOR TROUBLE 2009. In a rare peek behind the curtain, here it is in its entirety.

******************************************************

Good Morning Youngblood Nation,

By the time you get this the sun will have risen on the first day of tech for Asking For Trouble. For now though it's two in the morning and RJ and I are at EST, bombed on Hawaiian Punch and vodka (what are you laughing at? They were the only drinks we could find in the WHOLE THEATRE), and still, even now, still fighting about the running order. If you ever wondered how decisions got made at Youngblood, you're seeing how it works. Graeme and RJ drink a bunch of girl drinks and then they Hawaiian Punch It Out.

We'll get to the running order in a minute (editor's note: at 9am, Graeme called RJ to change the order again), but first, here's some information it would probably help to have:

1. Set Changes: There was a time when all the set changes in Asking For Trouble were done by the playwrights. It was awfully fun to watch, but it involved a set change rehearsal that would run till 230 in the morning and usually added about 20 minutes to the running time of the show. Finally after one year where a guy dragged a chair onstage and stood in the blue light for a solid 150 seconds trying to figure out where the chair was supposed to go (that guy may have been me), we decided we should simplify things.

This year, the casts for each play bring on their set at the top of their play and take it off when they're done.

All the stock set pieces will have specific places to live offstage, which you will see at your tech. During tech, our stage manager Michal and our intern Olga will note which pieces each play is using, and will let you know if you can leave anything onstage for the next show, but for now please plan to strike everything you use until further notice.

So, in a nutshell: actors will be placing and striking set pieces, stored upstage & backstage.

2. E-Flyer/Facebook Invitations: We've sent out an e-flyer to the Youngblood and EST mailing lists, which you all should have received. If you didn't, reply as such to this email and we'll get it to you. Check out the terrific comics, drawn for us for the second year running by Youngblood's own Nikole Beckwith. My favorite is the salmon hat.

We also have an "Event" associated with the Youngblood group on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=166121081317#/event.php?eid=166121081317

Feel free to invite your friends via that event as well.

3. Reservations: To reserve seats, tell your friends, your family, your lovers, and your family's lovers to call 212.247.4982, x105. They need to say which night *and which series* they need tickets for, and leave their email address.

Or they can send that information via email to boxoffice@ensemblestudiotheatre.org

Remember, there are about 114 people taking part in this thing one way or another. That means people need to reserve early. It'll fill up fast, especially for the later shows. The last thing we want is to turn your family's lovers away.

4. Call Time. For the first performance, we'd like to ask everybody to show up half an hour before curtain. So if you're in the Series A at 7pm, be at EST by 630. If you're in Series B at 9pm series, be here by 830.

For Friday and Saturday we can fudge the call times a bit, so if you don't go onstage till 1030 we're not gonna make you show up two hours early every night. But if everybody can get there early the first night, it'll help keep things running smoothly.

5. Curtain Call. If you're a fan of four-hour evenings of ten-minute plays, like we are, then you know that individual curtain calls for each of your 21 plays can get a little impractical. So we ask everyone to stick around till the end of their series and we do a great big company bow at the end.

There are always cases where people have to take off beforehand, and we understand that - just let us know and it's no sweat. But I will say that a big part of the fun of these things happens backstage, meeting and hanging out with the 72 other people who got roped into this. And at the end of the night when everybody piles onto the stage and the audience is hooting and applauding because they can't quite believe they made it through either, it's a pretty great sight to see everyone onstage together, it's a pretty great feeling. It's like you're in Live Aid or Miss Saigon. So stick around if you can. It's really worth it.

6. Opening Night. Are you like me? Do you know your lines yet? You got any idea where you're supposed to stand when you don't have lines? Are you getting a little freaked? Have you looked in the fresh, in-some-cases-peach-fuzzy face of your playwright and thought to yourself "As God as my witness, I will not let this peach-fuzzy playwright down"? And what are we all going to WEAR?

Well if the answer to any of those questions is Gee Graeme I Dunno, then the good news that pretty much all of the roughly 114 people that are doing this are going through the same damn thing. You know what helps?

Well let me tell you what doesn't help: staying at EST and drinking Hawaiian Punch cocktails and fighting with RJ till two in the morning. No, what helps is sitting in the audience on Thursday night to watch each other's shows. It gives everybody a warm, friendly audience for that first bold leap into the breach, it lets you know that everyone is in more or less the same spot as you, and when you see the plays actually pulled off, it's proof that such miracles can happen. Ah, Youngblood. A Pocketful of Ten Minute Miracles.

And, of course, we're gonna let you in free. It goes back to the fun of being in this thing; for five more days we're all part of this lurching, unwieldly, roughly-114 person company. How often do we get to do shit like that?

7. Nate Whelden. So there's this guy Nate Whelden. So Nate lives in Baltimore, but I didn't know that, see, and last night when one of the plays lost an actor, I called Nate. And at the time of this writing Nate Whelden is TAKING A BUS FROM BALTIMORE TO NEW YORK, where he will SLEEP ON A BUDDY'S COUCH FOR A WEEK, so he can do Asking For Trouble. Even if you kinda don't have time to watch the other shows, even if you've discovered that it turns out you sort of don't like ten-minute plays, even if you hate everybody else that you've met and worked with this week, come on out and cheer Nate on.

8. Parties. We're gonna have some parties. The Mighty Kel Haney managed to hook us up (again) with a big donation of Stella Artois. It turns out that Youngblood's big in Belgium. Who knew? Our friends the Belgians. So yeah, we're gonna have some parties after the performances. There will be an opening night party on Thursday, a closing night party on Saturday, and a party on Friday night just so Friday night doesn't feel left out.

9. What was I talking about? Oh right! Whew! Here it is! With all that as your drumroll, then, here is your RUNNING ORDER for ASKING FOR TROUBLE 2009:

SERIES A

THE BOOTY by Kyoung H. Park, directed by Kel Haney

with Denny Bess, Thomas Lyons, and Ann Talman

DEATHPOD! by Meghan Deans, directed by Moritz Von Stuelpnagel

with Lucy DeVito, Julie Leedes, and Audrey Lynn Weston

THE OATH by Jesse Cameron Alick, directed by Lila Neugebauer

with Lucia Brizzi, Catherine Curtin, and Jason Liebman

COLONEL JEFFREY by Emily Chadick Weiss, directed by John Giampetro

with Debbie Lee Jones, Ryan Karels, and Haskell King

THE NEXT TIME WE PICK UP A DRIFTER I DO THE TALKING by Michael Lew, directed by Robert Ross Parker

with Jackie Chung, Delphi Harrington, and Mordecai Lawner

---INTERMISSION---

THE LAST PIRATE by Anna Moench, directed by Sarah Malkin

with Tim Cain, Kristen Harlow, Frank Harts, and Ayesha Ngaujah

A PLAY INSPIRED BY MEDITATION CLOTHES by Nikole Beckwith, directed by Tom Rowan

with Kevin Confoy, Dane DeHaan, Patricia Randell, Devere Rogers, and Joel Rooks

FAKE by Michael Walek, directed by Rachel Slaven

with Helen Farmer, Shane Kearns, and Nate Whelden

IT NEVER RAINS IN REALITY TELEVISION by Sharyn Rothstein, directed by Wes Grantom

with Curran Connor, Julie Fitzpatrick, Diana Ruppe, Risa Sarachan, and Michael Louis Wells

AMERICA YOU KILL ME by Joshua Conkel, directed by Linsay Firman

with Nikole Beckwith, Bobby Moreno, and Scott Sowers

-----------------------------------------------------

SERIES B

THE PUNCH by Eliza Clark, directed by Daniel Winerman

with Alaina Dunn, Jacob Murphy, and Teresa Stephenson

JOSEF STALIN WAS A ROCKSTAR by Jon Kern, directed by Christine Farrell

with Paul Coffey, Helen Highfield, Abigail Gampel, Graeme Gillis, and Claire Seibers

BACK TO THE SEXY by Mira Gibson, directed by Snehal Desai

with Steven Boyer, David Hurwitz, and Allyson Morgan

IF YOU by Lucy Boyle, directed by Jamie Richards

with Robert Askins, Jenny Gomez, and Susan Willerman

VIRTUE OF NECESSITY by Robert Askins, directed by Eliza Beckwith

with Eddie Boroevich, Nancy Franklin, Maria Gabriele, Jared McGuire, and Megan Tusing

MORNING SUNSHINE by Anna Kerrigan, directed by Dylan McCullough

with Jocelyn Kuritsky, Alfredo Narciso, and Mike Smith-Rivera

---INTERMISSION---

GET 'ER DONE by Courtney Brooke Lauria, directed by RJ Tolan

with Will Harper and Johnny Pruitt

INTERVIEW SCHMINTERVIEW by Delaney Britt Brewer, directed by Alexa Polmer

with Kelly Ann Burns and Marcia Haufrecht

SONS OF THIEVES by Patrick Link, directed by Gerritt Turner

with Bjorn DuPaty, Shawn Randall, and Martina Weber

TEN MINUTES FROM WONDERFUL by Erica Saleh, directed by Web Begole

with Ilene Kristen and Nitya Vidyasagar

CRAB BAKE by Eric March, directed by Abigail Zealy Bess

with Chris Ceraso, Kelli Lynn Harrison, and Amy Staats

----------------------------------------------------

All right, Troublemakers. As they say in Nova Scotia, see you on the ice.

Here we go.

Graeme