Monday, December 18, 2006

Winter Retreat: Long Day's Journey Into Fright

December 15, 2006.
The playwrights of Youngblood gathered at Lexington for their annual winter retreat in the Catskills. As dusk approached the quiet cabin in the hills, an ax-wielding Annie Baker and a perhaps-too-naive Graeme Gillis headed into the darkening forest to bring back a Christmas tree in preparation of the holidays. Little did the soused but generally sexy members of Youngblood know, it would be the last time they saw their red-headed Canadian leader.

Shortly after midnight Baker was found in the outdoor bathtub. Rocking back and forth like a retarded epileptic, and scrubbing herself with nettles, Baker muttered over and over, "Out damn spot. Out!" Mike Lew quickly (perhaps too quickly?) escorted Baker away from the baffled writers. Whispering into her ear, Lew reassured the catatonic Baker, "It's okay, it's okay. It was him or us."

The next day, with Gillis still missing, Youngblood sat down to lunch. Mike Lew made dumplings. Delious dumplings. In fact, no one in Youngblood had ever tasted such savory and succulent dumplings. Unable to exactly pinpoint the flavor, Matt Schatz asked Lew what he had stuffed the dumplings with. Lew answered simply and with a sad smile, "Canadian bacon."

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