Monday, June 20, 2011

Green Cheese in Cyberspace

Silly playwright. What are you doing? You know you can't making a living writing plays. There's no money in theatre. You know where the money is? Grilled cheese.

That's right. Don't you read, playwright? According to the New York Times, The Melt--which will one day allow users to order grilled cheese sandwiches from their mobile phones--has raised 15 million dollars. It's not even up and running yet and they have 15 million dollars. No users, no sales. It's just an idea on a page. Sort of like your play. But this idea has 15 million dollars behind it.

You see, silly playwright, this is how the world works. I saw that reading of that new play of yours. I would invest, but it seemed...I don't it needs a bit more development before I take it seriously.

But this guy, Jonathan Kaplan, he came up to me and told me about how I could order a grilled cheese sandwich from my mobile phone with his app and I decided to give him 15 million dollars. Because that would be so sweet if I could order grilled cheese from my phone--so much cooler than using my phone to call a restaurant to order grilled cheese and so much cooler than going on a website via my phone to place an order. And I'm never at home when I want a grilled cheese, where'd I'd have to use a lame computer. No, I want an app for that. A grilled cheese app.

How is The Melt going to do it? I haven't a clue. Not for me to say. But I trust that it will work and be popular. Meanwhile, I felt like the ending of your play wasn't really earned. I mean, what was with the juice? She drinks it? She doesn't drink it? I mean...??

But can I tell you about color? I gave color 41 million dollars. I'll be honest, I'm not even sure what it is. It's this app...with pictures? You know how kids share pictures? They'll be doing that with color soon--somehow unlike they do on facebook or twitter or flickr. It's going to be big. The CEO told me, so it must be true. So he's rocking out with $41 million just because! Because what if this thing is the next facebook? I'd be stupid to not give them $41 million! And who am I to tell them what's going to be popular? I mean, they're the tech people. They know what they're doing. So I'm keeping my mouth shut and writing checks.

Meanwhile, where does your story take place? Yeah, they're in a house...but where? What was the time period? Yeah...see, that's your problem.

Silly, playwright. It needs to be clear for me to invest. As clear as


Meghan Drrns said...

How would you feel about it if I rewrote my ending to be an app?

plink said...

Is it an app that will bring any play to an end or will I have to use the app to find out how your play ended?

Either way I'm in for 10 million. Cash okay?