Ryan Dowler Presents The ESTeen Youngerblog: Wisdom on Life, Love, and the Theatre from My Junior High Diary

Part One: On Making The First Move

I found my Junior High diary.

This is what's in it:

4-4-96

Guess what? Theo told me last week that Katie H. (who I like) likes me! He said she has a boyfriend named Jesse. But she, I actually have a chance at. This is GREAT! ! ! ! I'm pretty tired.

4-7-96

I can't wait to see Katie tommorro. I don't know if I should talk to her or smile at her or what? We always pass each other in the hall or see each other in the cafeteria and we catch each other looking at each other, but we don't smile, we don't frown, but we don't smile. I should smile, but it's like I'm caught in a daze and I can't smile or make any reaction. Tommorro I'm going to smile. I'm going to do it!

4-8-96

I didn't see Katie today. Well, I saw her but our eyes didn't meet. My life is very HAPPY right now. I feel like I have a chance with Katie, but I don't need anyone. Just cause I'm not dating anyone doesn't mean that I'm not good looking. I mean I'm not bragging but 3 or 4 people like me right now and I have self-confidence. LL COOL J SUCKS! ! !

4-17-96

Theo told Katie to talk to me but she said she didn't know what to say and that she wants me to talk to her. Tommorro is my last chance to talk to her (before the dance). I better not get nervous like last time. When I heard Theo telling her to talk to me I got scared and ran into the bathroom. I really wish we could go out. That would rule! ! ! !

4-19-96

The dance was great! ! ! The headbanging was awesome, as usual! ! ! ! It ROCKED! The last dance I asked Katie if she wanted to dance. She said no. I'm kidding! ! ! ! She said "sure" and we started dancing (slow song). She had her arms around me and I felt so comfortable. She said "Your hands are hot" and I said "Yeah." And then she was talking to her friend who was standing right there. Then later I said "I was at the Toadies concert" actually referring to the "hot hands" comment but it was too late for her to realize the connection.