Monday, May 02, 2011

Youngblood Credited with Death of Osama Bin Laden

Late Sunday night President Obama announced the death of Osama Bin Laden, leader of the Al Qaeda terrorist network and the most wanted man in the world, by American Special Forces and the Youngblood group for Emerging Writers.

"If it weren't for the brave work done by the military and young playwrights, the face of global terror and extremism would still exist today." The president said last night as crowds gathered outside the White House, Times Square, Ground Zero, and the Ensemble Studio Theatre to celebrate.

The historic day started late last summer, when an intelligence report surfaced that the terrorist leader may be hiding in a compound in Pakistan, while Graeme Gillis and RJ Tolan sifted through applications for new membership to Youngblood. Over the past few months, the president held several meetings with his National Security Council while Youngblood held several high level, successful brunches, a retreat, and it's "Asking For Trouble" series in what was a coordinated effort to take down the head of the organization which killed nearly 3,000 people on September 11th, 2001 as well as thousands of others around the world the past two decades, and spurred two American wars in the Middle East.

The operation is widely credited to Youngblood's Bloowdworks fundraiser party this past Friday, a huge success in which none of the guests reportedly knew that the hosts of the party were actually in the midst of one of the largest Special Forces operations of our time. "I was just dancing, getting crazy drunk, grinding up on Eric Dufault," said one member of the party, who wanted to remain anonymous for walk of shame reasons, "I thought maybe when I was getting raffle tickets for that dream date dude something weird might be up...but not like that!"

Many playwrights had suspiciously left the party early before clean up, presumably to coordinate operations with CIA Director Leon Panetta, though some analysts assume they were just too drunk and had rehearsal in the morning. The weekend continued culminating in the second to last brunch of the year, the Confessional Brunch. Shortly before Lydia Brunner's play went on stage, which featured sexual acts by puppets, she was on the phone with the State Department making sure a coordinated communications response was in place for the next day.

As the world celebrates and discusses the world post Osama Bin Laden, the United States military operations continue against Al Queda and Youngblood continues to write and produce new American Theater. This continues the next two months at the South Street Sea Port Monday nights for the Bloodworks reading series.

Rumors have surfaced following the death of Bin Laden, Youngblood member Patrick Link may be looking at a 2012 run for president.

1 comment:

Ian Thal said...

Good for you! Being a scourge of global terrorism can only help your theatrical career. Why my first staged reading was picketed by a Hamas supporter!