Nikole's Tick Parade!

Last night was a terrific event: a benefit variety show for Nikole Beckwith, Youngblood playwright extraordinaire, sufferer of chronic neurological Lyme disease and holder of inadequate medical insurance.  (Illustrated at left: Eric Bogosian doing the first of his two signature character monologues).  Congratulations to Eric Cook and everybody involved for putting together such a great night, and big thanks to Dixon Place for hosting.

Among the amazing roster of jugglers, aerialists, burlesque, spoken word, live music, burlesque, unicylcists, strippers and burlesque, Youngblood stepped up with a heartfelt power ballad in the WE ARE THE WORLD mode, created by Eric March and featuring additional lyrics and performances from a host of Youngblooders.

It's not the same as being there, but here are the lyrics:

Eric March:
SOMETIMES
IF YOU LIVE IN NEW YORK STATE
OR CONNECTICUT, LIKE HARTFORD OR MAYBE DARIEN

SOMEONE YOU KNOW AND LOVE
GETS LYME DISEASE
AND YOU TELL HER, "I WANNA HELP IN ANY WAY I CAN"

SO SHE SAYS "GREAT
THAT'S SO GREAT TO HEAR
HERE'S MY DOCTOR'S BILL. IT'S 90 PAGES LONG"

AND YOU'RE LIKE "OH...
UH... OH
"UM, FUCK. TELL YOU WHAT, HOW 'BOUT I WRITE A SONG?"

Chorus:
SO LET'S HELP NIKOLE
CURE HER LYME DISEASE
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE
SHE NEEDS A LOT OF MONEY
AND SHE NEEDS IT REALLY FAST
SO IF YOU ALL COULD COME UP WITH IT, THAT'D BE GREAT

Josh Conkel:
I KNOW
THAT YOU GOT SOME CASH TO GIVE.
YOU'RE WEARING SKINNY JEANS, QUEEN. DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU'RE BROKE.

NIKOLE, WHO WE KNOW AND LOVE
HAS LYMES DISEASE
GIVE HER YOUR MONEY OR I'LL PUNCH YOU IN THE THROAT.

LYMES DISEASE OR NO
SHE LOOKS LIKE ZOE DESCHANEL
BUT PRETTIER. AND WITH A LESS FUNCTIONAL NERVOUS SYSTEM.

(SPOKEN: Nothing rhymes with "Chanel," sorry...)

SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND.
WE'RE TWO WOLVES IN THE SAME PACK.
SO DIG DEEP. PUT YOUR WATCHES AND JEWELRY IN THIS SACK.

Meghan Deans:
LYME DISEASE
IS PRETTY MUCH THE WORST
WE'RE NOT DOCTORS, BUT WE LOOKED IT UP ONLINE

AND JUST BECAUSE WE DIDN'T
GO TO MEDICAL SCHOOL
DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN'T SAVE THE DAY THIS TIME

SO ANYWAY
A REALLY GOOD WAY TO HELP
WOULD BE TO BUY A DRINK, WHICH YOU WERE GOING TO DO ANYWAY

WE'RE NOT CALLING YOU A DRUNK
WE'RE SERIOUSLY NOT
PLEASE DON'T FIGHT US, WE WERE JUST TRYING TO SAY

Chorus:
LET'S HELP NIKOLE
CURE HER LYME DISEASE
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE
SHE NEEDS A LOT OF MONEY
AND SHE NEEDS IT REALLY FAST
SO IF YOU ALL COULD COME UP WITH IT, THAT'D BE GREAT

Emily Weiss:
NIKOLE
IS TOO TALENTED FOR LYME… DISEASE
HER COMICS ROCK AND SHE ACTS REAL WELL

FUCK YOU TICKS
NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU (spoken: UNLIKE NIKOLE!)
YOU ASSHOLES SHOULD ALL ROT IN HELL

Erica Saleh:
POOR NIKOLE
SHE HAS REALLY BAD LUCK (spoken: WITH INSECTS!)
FIRST IT’S BED BUGS, THEN IT’S LYME INFESTED TICKS

THOSE INSECTS WANT TO WIN
WANT TO DESTROY HER BED AND BRAIN
BUT WE CAN’T LET THEM, WE GOTTA STOP THOSE LITTLE DICKS!

Kyoung Park:
SO PRETTY PLEASE DON'T MAKE US
RESORT TO THREATS

Anna Kerrigan:
GIVE UP YOUR CASH
NO EXCUSES, NO REGRETS

Kyoung:
SOME OF YOU ARE ON TV
AND WE KNOW THAT MEANS YOU'RE RICH

Anna:
SO IT REALLY REFLECTS POORLY ON YOU
IF YOU DON'T PITCH... IN...

Chorus:
LET'S HELP NIKOLE
CURE HER LYME DISEASE
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE
SHE NEEDS A LOT OF MONEY
AND SHE NEEDS IT REALLY FAST
SO IF YOU ALL COULD COME UP WITH IT, THAT'D BE GREAT

R.J. Tolan:
THESE ARE PLAYWRIGHTS
AND WE WANT TO HELP NIKOLE
BUT WE’RE STILL EMERGING, AS ANYONE CAN SEE

AND WE’D MARRY NIKOLE OR ADOPT HER
IF THAT WOULD GET HER TO A DOCTOR
BUT WE’RE BROKE UNTIL WE START WRITING FOR TV

IN THE MEANTIME
HERE’S OUR FRIEND NIKOLE
WITH HER PROGRESSIVE NEUROLOGICAL DAMAGE TO SOLVE

AND THE NEXT THING WE’D BE PROPOSE-IAN
SHE SHOULD MARRY ANNIE BAKER OR BOGOSIAN
BUT THAT’D BE AWKWARD FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED

Chorus:
LET'S HELP NIKOLE CURE HER LYME DISEASE
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE
SHE NEEDS A LOT OF MONEY, AND SHE NEEDS IT REALLY FAST
SO IF YOU ALL COULD COME UP WITH IT, THAT'D BE GREAT
[FUCK YOU TICKS]
IF YOU COULD KICK IN FOR THE REST OF US, THAT’D BE GREAT
[FUCK YOU TICKS]
IF YOU WOULD MAKE UP FOR THE BUNCH OF US, THAT’D BE GREAT